Howdy, and welcome to the April edition of DA YEAR OF DA MOVIE. I checked out 4 films last month, and 3 of them were recent releases that I ventured out to a theater for. Some were good, some were great, and one of them was…
#4 – The Shining
I absolutely hated this. It got 3 stars on Letterboxd out of obligation, but I personally cannot imagine ever actively seeking out this movie again. We’re gonna structure this one as a Compliment Sandwich, good stuff at the top and bottom, and a bunch of meaty gripes in between.
To get the obvious out of the way, this movie is gorgeous. The hotel is beautiful from top to bottom, and there are a ton of shots that absolutely slap. Danny riding the tricycle through hallways is brilliant, and the Axe bursting through the bathroom door is a classic for a reason. Hell, there’s a shot in Sinners (which I’ll talk about in a bit) that’s taken directly from The Shining and you even get to see Scatman Cruthers’ grippers at one point, it’s great! But the actual things happening in those gorgeous shots are just so, so dumb half the time. Take this image:
This is the face of a man that is 1000% going to try to murder his family in the next few weeks. Which is accurate, but also IT’S THE LITERAL FIRST SCENE IN THE MOVIE. The novel is a slow burn, where you watch a man with some temper and substance abuse issues slowly lose his grip on sanity, as a result of being locked in a haunted hotel. You’re meant to root for Jack, and seeing him unravel is meant to be at least a little sad. Absolutely none of this made it over to the film. Here, Jack is transparently unstable from the first shot and this just undercuts the entire story.
Speaking of cuts, I understand that you can’t adapt everything one to one since it’s such a long book. Trimming things out like the Hedge Animals (pun very intended, please laugh) is welcome. But things like removing the Boiler (the metaphor that’s core to the entire story) or how much Danny idolizes Jack is just bizarre to me. It makes all 4 of the characters (the hotel itself counts) feel completely hollow.
And then beyond the stuff that’s been removed, there are the direct changes. Shifting the bathtub scene to a weird sexy fake-out is baffling. Nothing about this story points to Jack being unfaithful or lusting after other women, it’s just a cheap and obvious bait and switch. The original take on the scene (Danny seeing the corpse, being terrified, Jack seeing the silhouette of the corpse and choosing to ignore it) is infinitely more satisfying. Also, this is a minor thing, but why wasn’t there a Martini on the counter after Jack gets out of the pantry? I’m not even going to bother explaining this one since it’s convoluted, but I legitimately yelled at my TV when it was missing.
For the Bottom Bun of Positivity, I’ll take a second to mention the performances from Jack Nicholson and Shelley Duval, which are both stellar. Nicholson is overbearing at the start, but by the time the second half hits he is absolutely perfect. Dude just has a face that is inherently horrifying, and goddamn does he use it. And Duval’s willowy, fragile demeanor breaking down into sheer terror is great.
Honestly if I hadn’t read the book first, I’d probably have enjoyed this. But I didn’t, and I don’t.
#3 – Death of a Unicorn
I spent way too much time on that first chunk, so we’re speed-running this one. Death of a Unicorn is fine. Inoffensive, but inconsistent. Both Paul Rudd and Jenna Ortega are completely wasted here; their characters being completely one-note and predictable. There’s a Father-Daughter dynamic that’s supposed to be broken at the start and repaired over the course of the movie, but it never really gets there and I don’t think many people will care about it one way or another. Luckily all of the other characters are way more interesting. There are a ton of comically scummy jerks, but they never cross the line into being completely annoying. Will Poulter’s character is particularly great at this, the movie is always like 20% better any time he’s on screen.
Otherwise there are CGI Unicorns that mostly look decent. Some of them die, some of them kill people, and we all learn a valuable lesson about not ignoring your child. My favorite part is when most of the climax takes place in the dead of night, then Jenna Ortega jumps out of a window and it’s suddenly broad daylight when she lands. Again, it’s fine but inconsistent. There are some solid jokes that got a chuckle out of me, and it’s just goofy enough to keep you guessing.
A ton of my issues are with the movie feeling kinda thin and not committing hard enough to the bit. But at the same time, one of my favorite things about it is that the whole thing is such a breezy little watch. So I guess I can’t complain.
#2 – Mickey 17
This is a kinda funky one to talk about, given that a certain other movie came out this month that also blends multiple genres with the use of a singular actor playing 2 of the main characters. But I’m still gonna do my best to do it justice. Mickey 17 is pretty dang good, but like Death of a Unicorn, it’s so inconsistent. The first half is perfect. “Disposable and re-printable Human” is an absolute banger of a concept for a main character. The world building is great, with so many neat details about the setting that are fascinating to think about. I love that there’s a romance where 2 people are just unambiguously into each other. There’s no betrayal or misunderstanding complicating things, a woman just looks at Robby Pats and is immediately in love forever (honestly same tbh). It’s really refreshing.
At the end of the first act when the “reveal” happens, I literally sat up in my chair and locked in. The problem is that the movie seems completely uninterested in actually exploring any of the implications that stem from that moment, and instead just keeps branching out to more and more ideas until it eventually collapses under its own weight. I would love to watch a movie about the existential dread that comes from your own life being completely meaningless under the burden of capitalism, and how a single person that is effectively immortal within that system learns to cope with it. But Mickey 17 isn’t that movie.
Instead, Mickey 17 is a movie where Mark Ruffalo does an annoying Trump impersonation, the real plot centers around an impending war between an alien race and humans (But aren’t humans the real aliens??? Wow really makes you think, very insight, such deep), and oh, also Steven Yeun is here. It’s not that this back half is necessarily bad, it’s just nowhere near as interesting as the material that’s set up in the beginning. Also, spoilers for the ending in the next paragraph:
Mickey 17 should’ve been the one to kill Dork Truffalo and die at the end. It’s so obvious that I feel like I have to be missing something, but I can’t think of what it could possibly be. 17’s entire arc is about him being a coward and afraid of death even though he knows it’s not really the end for him. Ending his story with 17 boldly sacrificing himself for the greater good so that Mickey 18 can live on would’ve been such a satisfying conclusion, I’m just genuinely at a loss why they didn’t go that route.
None of these issues are enough to ruin the movie for me though. It’s still a fun watch that’s worth checking out. Just not nearly as good as it could’ve been. And honestly, I love Robert Pattinson enough to ignore a lot of the annoying bits. Putting him in a role where he gets to be on-screen twice in most scenes is just cheating. Speaking of which…
#1 – SINNERS
It’s really good. Like, really really good. Not my favorite of all time or anything like that, but this is one of those movies that people are going to be talking about for a very long time.There’s one specific scene in the middle that is an absolute spectacle, and I am so happy I shelled out extra to be able to see it in IMAX. If you haven’t seen it yet, please stop reading this and go check it out on the biggest screen you can. You won’t regret it.
Actually, hold on, I’m gonna go see it again. See ya next month!
THE LIST
- Forgetting Sarah Marshall
- 12 Angry Men
- The Lighthouse
- Presence
- Punch-Drunk Love
- Sinners
- Gone Girl
- BlackBerry
- Mickey 17
- Baby Driver
- My Old Ass
- Death of a Unicorn
- John Wick
- The Shining
- The Big Lebowski
Flamoctapus 
SARAH MARSHALL REMAINS ON TOP LET’S GOOOOO
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SARAH MARSHALL REMAINS ON TOP LET’S GOOOOO
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