Remember last month when I said I was going to try to outline my thoughts on movies directly after I watched them? That way I’d have an easier time writing these??
Well jokes on me, because not only did I not do that, I also watched a grand total of 3 movies this month. Plus, one of them can’t be talked about in this thread since it’s part of a separate project.
So now, not only am I hazy on the details of the things I checked out in March, I also need to talk about em for an entire post’s worth of space. And to top it all off, both of the movies I saw last month are legitimate masterpieces that I have nothing but good things to say about. So I can’t even hide my lack of real thoughts behind cheap jokes. (Editor’s note: This post has one of the dumbest and cheapest jokes I’ve ever written, oops).
#2 – 12 Angry Men
I wasn’t joking, we’re dealing with some real monoliths of film here. 12 Angry Men is about as close to flawless as a movie can get, and that fact is nearly universally agreed upon. I don’t think I’ve seen a single person produce a legitimate criticism of it. Sure, you get brainlets complaining that “It’s too slow” or that “Nothing happens”, but come on. Is anyone really taking that seriously?
This is admittedly a pretty simple movie. 12 jurors debate their decision on a murder case. That’s it. Aside from a minute or so at the beginning and end to set / wrap things up, the entire movie takes place within a single room. It’s also ancient at this point, having come out 68 years ago. Every actor in this thing has been dead for over a decade at minimum. Based on that, I can forgive someone assuming that it was just good “for its time” if they hadn’t seen it.
But if you do take the time to sit down and watch, you pretty much immediately understand where all of that praise is coming from. It’s shot brilliantly, the performances are all stellar and that simple plot unravels perfectly. Just like literally everyone says it does.
So instead of trying to explain why one of the best movies ever made is good, I instead made a tier list showing what rank each of the jurors would be in League of Legends.
I’m not going to bother breaking this down line by line since this joke will land for like, maybe 1 person that reads this. But just know that Juror #9 is Iron because he’s too old to click accurately, #3 is Gold because his accounts keep getting banned when he tells his teammates to kill themselves, and Juror #10 is Challenger because being vehemently racist is a trait that’s shared by most top players. And that’s why I’m hardstuck in Platinum babyyyy.
Anyway, good movie, tenouttaten.
#1 – Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Quick disclaimer: I didn’t make this explicitly clear at any point previously, but Da Year Of Da Movie will include things that I’ve already seen. So these thoughts are based upon multiple viewings dating as far back as 2016. Take that as you will. Also, I’m spoiling the hell outta this one, go watch it if ya haven’t!
Putting a mid 2000’s RomCom that has been mostly forgotten in the modern day above one of the greatest films ever made feels like a bit of a weird move, but I stand by it. Forgetting Sarah Marshall really is that good as far as I’m concerned. The basic romantic and comedic elements on their own are great, but what puts it over the top for me is its humanity.
There aren’t any real villains in this story. Both of the main characters are at least mildly bad people, but the movie isn’t interested in crucifying them for that. Rather, it simply holds them accountable for their actions. Peter was a pretty terrible boyfriend in a lot of ways, and that led to him getting dumped. Sarah cheated on Peter, and as such she ends the movie single (the worst possible fate that can befall a main character in a Rom-Com, oh the horror!).
A big part of what makes the whole thing work is the performances. Jason Segel is built for this kind of schlubby every-man role. Just pathetic enough to sell you on his shortcomings, but charming enough to make you root for him unabashedly. Mila Kunis has the perfect amount of flirtiness and sincerity, which makes the few moments where she is a bit more unhinged stand out.
Kristen Bell as Sarah Marshall is also excellent. It’s easy to imagine this kind of story portraying Sarah as a heartless monster, but Bell is just way too charming for that to work. So instead, she’s much more grounded. You can see why Peter is crushed over losing her, and even by the end once it’s revealed that she was cheating on him, it’s still hard to outright hate her.
But Russell Brand completely steals the show. Russel Brand Russel Branding it up in every movie he’s ever been in since is a bummer, but this one came out before he had a chance to overplay the joke. He’s the purest essence of quirked-up British Rockstar, and just about every scene he’s in is better for it.
And then there’s all the side characters. Bill Hader, Jonah Hill, Jack McBrayer, and Paul Rudd each have at least one genuinely hilarious line apiece. Plus the other even smaller roles create great chuckles too.
I love how great the title fits the movie. Obviously the entire point of Peter going to Hawaii in the first place is to take his mind off of the breakup, but there’s an extra layer to it. Sarah completely disappears from the movie during the final minutes. By the time Peter is back L.A., she’s no longer even an afterthought, with all of the focus shifted onto the Rock Opera and Peter’s relationship with Rachel. And that absence sells the post credits scene beautifully. There being no real resolution to her character just feels right.
Once you break up with someone and make peace with the relationship ending, there usually isn’t a whole lot of closure involved. Instead you just have to move on. If you cross paths with them again, it’s not a full scale “where are they now?” breakdown of their life post-you. Just a brief glimpse into a small part of it. There’s something beautiful in the way this movie hits on that.
Two final random notes to end on: First, the joke about the Chef looking like a giant baby is hilarious, and I’m allowed to find it funny since I too am bald. Second, the film laughing at Peter for going an entire week working from home without wearing anything other than Sweatpants is hilariously outdated post-2020. Like, it feels as out of place as seeing the Twin Towers disintegrate in the ‘93 Mario Movie. Just absurd.
I love this movie. It just calms me completely. Of the few things I have in common with Dan Cambell, I’m glad this is one of them.
Whew, what a ride. I think shooting for 100 movies in a year was a little ambitious given how bad my current pace is, but I’m not gonna give up completely. Hopefully I can make up some ground in April. And at some point I swear I’ll get to those other random movies I’ve been watching but not talking about here! Maybe next month? Regardless, the big ol list is updated below.
As I’m adding to this, I wonder if it’s fair of me to reorder existing movies? BlackBerry over Baby Driver and My Old Ass feels wrong to me now. I’ll ruminate on that for next month. Anyway, see ya in May!
THE LIST:
- Forgetting Sarah Marshall
- 12 Angry Men
- The Lighthouse
- Presence
- Punch-Drunk Love
- Gone Girl
- BlackBerry
- Baby Driver
- My Old Ass
- John Wick
- The Big Lebowski
Flamoctapus 
(I forgot to read this one so I went back) Didn’t ask me, but I think reordering the list in each month is valid. I don’t think going back in previous months is ideal as it kinda breaks the idea of what you’re going for, but changing the ordering when you’re writing the post is entirely fine I’d think, because you have sat on the movie for x amount of time and your thoughts will naturally shift and rumble a bit. What feels correct in March might feel heinously out of touch in September.
LikeLiked by 1 person