Fuck Green Apple Skittles

Look at this pile of useless shit. These godforsaken flavor tumors. Long ago, in the year of our lord 2013, the faceless shadowmasters pulling all the strings behind the curtain on the world’s favorite tooth-fucking fruity candy decided to make a power play. They killed the honorable Lime and replaced it with the sacrilegious Green Apple. Ever since then, humanity has been living in a waking nightmare. A dark time has fallen upon us.

Everyday, new children are born into a world devoid of the blissful flavor contained within the Lime Skittle. Unaware of their suffering, they move through their lives content with the current ensemble of flavors, but within each and every one of them lies a seed of subterfuge. For it is known within all of us, at the very core of our beings. Green Apple Skittles are hot garbage.

It is important, no, imperative, that we forge onward, with a song in our hearts, and a green citrus-y flavor on the tongues of our minds. Join me in saying, once and for all, Fuck Green Apple Skittles.